GOING TO ABSURD LENGTHS TO MAKE TIMES AND DATES WORK
There are two parts to verisimilitude: characters and plots.
When you graft a fictional character onto a world in a historical context – changing the name of the president, for example (still missing President Bartlett of the West Wing, not so much the Presidents Underwood of House of Cards), is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, because FICTION.
But there is a significant difference between an alternate history – one which answers what if? questions about what would happen if something changed due to that fictional occurrence (President Lincoln survived the Civil War) – and one which aims to change only a few features of an event, without completely changing the chronology of what happens after.
Because, within wide parameters, most people aren’t important enough to change history, and writing things a little different to end a personal story in a particular way is a perfectly valid fictional technique: you don’t imagine the 1950s differently, but your sleuth solves cases in them.
My fictional world is the real world
I want you to think, when you finish reading my WIP, that you’ve read something that really happened.
But because I chose Hollywood (and Bollywood added to it in the second volume of the trilogy), I need a worldwide stage for some parts, which has resulted in characters at times in very different time zones being aware of or communicating with each other.
Or traveling from one place to another and back.
Or of something they do affecting a different character somewhere else.
Stories aim to give you the flavor of reality
Stories – even very long dense epic stories – give you only a tiny part of what ‘happened.’
Try to document your day. In just one 24-hour day, you perform thousands of actions, make hundreds of decisions. Even listing them in a recording as you go through the day would take forever.
So the writer in a novel has to give you enough of the right kind of scenes so that you think you’ve lived with the characters – but are actually seeing a tiny fraction of what real people would do in that time.
The RIGHT tiny fraction. To give an illusion of time passing and being present.
The writer has to know a lot more than the reader
Or readers will notice the gaps. Call them plot holes, inconsistencies, anachronisms. Or my favorite: refrigerator moments. Because you’re at the refrigerator at 3am and suddenly it occurs to you that there was no logical reason for something that happened in the plot, but you were swept away by the action, and didn’t notice. It may have been Lawrence Block who mentioned no reason for the Estonians to be eating chocolate chip cookies (my memory is very vague on the topic).
Well, I don’t want any of those.
I don’t want readers to say, “Wait a minute – that couldn’t happen!” Because it would pop the ‘suspension of disbelief bubble, and damage the flow.
So I go to a lot of trouble to make sure something might have happened that way.
MOST readers will never notice the hole, or if they do, care.
Funny thing: in my mind, that doesn’t absolve me of the requirement to make sure there aren’t any I can see.
In practical terms in NETHERWORLD
It means that when I do my complicated alternation between characters, and something has to happen on a close timeline, I spend effort making sure that timeline is actually possible.
If two characters alternating are on different continents (a recent example), and there is a plane flight from one of those continents to a place on a third one, I use a lot of convenient time/date software (what time is it in Berlin when it’s 3am in Shanghai?) in coordination with other software which tells me how long the flight will be for a particular aircraft.
Sometimes I’ve had to reset the time for a particular sequential scene.
Other times I’ve had to start a scene earlier or later, build in a gap, or have it end at a different time.
The interesting thing to me has been that when I get that involved in the details of ‘could it work’, I find myself feeling more like a detective than the plotter of a novel.
I’m discovering what happened rather than creating it.
It has been eerie how real the timelines are – and how I’m able to fit the changes in without it rippling through the rest of the scenes.
Some scenes are anchored in REAL TIME
I’ve chosen to insert a character into an actual historical event, so I have to make sure a barrage of physical actions happen around that exact event.
I don’t want a reader to remember something – that year that award ceremony happened on a Monday, not the usual Sunday – and me have gotten it wrong.
It’s enough fiction that I’m putting my characters into that ceremony.
I want the reader to have the spine-chilling thought, “Hey. Wait. Am I remembering it wrong?” because my fictional part fits so well into the past reality.
And it’s not that many years ago.
Next time I may pick something without these real-world anchors!
Or in a fictional universe.
I never realized how much work it might be until I was up to my neck in alligators in the swamp.
As a reader, what do you do when the glitches are so obvious you can’t ignore them?
As a writer, am I crazy to worry about these tiny details?
To satisfy its customers, to make searching for what they want easy (easier), to supply it efficiently.
By revolution I mean both also that things turned around – 180° – from where they were, sort of, before.
Because before this all happened, ‘literary’ was a separate category in bookstores.
And literary meant a number of things:
Difficult to read, requiring great attention
Small in scope – One DAY in the life of Ivan Denisovich
Using difficult flowery language
Very detailed – a navel closely observed and described
Slow and languid
Somehow not for everyone
Requiring a large SAT vocabulary
For people with an MA in English or Literature
Suitable proof for a doctorate
A credential for teaching English or Literature
With a limited audience
Maybe French or translated from Italian or Russian
Often not ending anywhere near happily
Add or subtract from my list what comes into your head when you hear ‘literary novel.’ Please feel free to mention them in a comment.
What’s the revolution, you ask?
That ‘literary’ now means ‘traditionally published good stuff’ on Amazon, and is seen as almost the exclusive purview of, you guessed it, the traditional publishers large and small.
The books that are vetted by agents and editors at publishing companies (excluding the celebrity stuff), and are therefore both ‘better’ and ‘not for the hoi polloi.’
The other similar term is ‘historical,’ which is a little fuzzier and often about WWII, sometimes about WWI or the American Civil War.
Because the term ‘mainstream’ disappeared, and is not the same as ‘contemporary,’ which can be attached to, say, a Romance and a worldview: ‘Contemporary Christian Romance’ is a searchable thing.
It is considered presumptuous to label your own work ‘classic.’
And ‘General Fiction’ is not a category, but a garbage can.
‘Psychological’ is filling the empty slot somewhat – almost all novels for grownups are psychological, but is confounded by ‘thriller,’ ‘horror’, and ‘women’s fiction.’ With, of course, nothing actually labeled ‘fiction for men.’
It used to be possible to find mainstream fiction by looking for ‘a novel’ on the cover. No more. It now means only ‘book of at least 50 pages.’
It doesn’t matter for mainstream because
I’m convinced readers of mainstream fiction who use Amazon come there to find a good price on something they’ve already decided to buy.
I don’t think they search on Amazon. Not beyond maybe being attracted by something similar being offered by the ‘also read’ bots. There is just too much stuff.
They get their recommendations elsewhere – book critics (who rarely do SPAs*), reviews in the few places which still have book sections (print journalism has taken a lot of hits lately, too), and the publicity material put out for their best-selling authors by the traditional publishers (other authors get bupkis from traditional publishers – return on investment isn’t worth it).
So the market is saturated and sopped up by the same few titles which keep those offices in Manhattan open for the publishers (and their unpaid interns).
I’m hoping for virality. It can make the huge difference to a start – and then the writing must maintain the quality so that future books, even if widely spaces, are eagerly awaited.
Feel free to help kick that off – if you like mainstream fiction.
Don’t let ‘the system’ keep producing same old, same old – and then complain you can’t find anything you like to read.
Thank you for listening to the daily rant. Now, if I could just manage to do it daily! 🙂
Oh, and the answer to the title question is yes: ‘Literary’ has too many negative and restrictive connotations in the minds of too many readers.
‘Literary’ is not a good substitute for such terms as mainstream, ‘big book’, epic, blockbuster, or commercial novel. It isn’t the same. Even when the intent is to make it a synonym with ‘well written.’
IMNVHO (In my not very humble opinion,)
Final note: Pride’s Children: PURGATORY is taking part today and for the next few days at a promotion at HelloBooks – which has many other wonderful bargains for serious readers of General Fiction (its category) and many other genres.
*SPAs = self-published authors, sometimes known as indies or independent authors
I didn’t expect to, not this late in the middle book of a trilogy.
I capture these thoughts when they happen, hoping to have something to refer to when it happens again.
The constraint here is both the calendar – the end is near, and the content until the last scene is what it has to be – and a sense of pace.
In the real world, things have their own importance, and can’t be hurried – or slowed. Their pace is what their pace is.
In fiction, however, technically every bit is under the immediate and complete control of the writer – nothing happens without her say so – and completely not. Why? Because the pace you work hard to develop as you go seems to have a built-in speed you didn’t put there.
I’m not used to this
All pantsers are familiar with this.
Whereas I, an extreme plotter, like to think I’m in control of everything.
The story takes over.
And you bumble around in the dark until you learn.
Oh, and try doing this with WRITER brain fog!
You can’t write chaos smoothly
But it can’t be completely chaotic stream-of-consciousness either, not for very long on the page: the Reader won’t stand for it.
So it’s a mixture, and, from deep third multiple pov, you have to credibly present a chaotic situation for a character you’ve already developed (starting that way in Chapter 1 or with a new character is a different ballgame), and who is usually much less confused.
So you will get a little indulgence from your audience, but don’t want to presume on that – or they’ll start skimming, and you’ve lost them.
So, another skill attempted in the craft.
I wonder what the beta reader will say.
If you’re a reader, do you notice this kind of thing? And how much patience do you have for a change in how you see characters, especially when they’re under stress?
If you’re a writer, has this one bitten your ankles?
I am Director of Marketing for Trilka Press, the imprint that publishes my books, and may some day publish other writers (don’t hold your breath quite yet).
I am the PR department, as well. All of it. And the Art Department. And IT. And Housekeeping and Bookkeeping and Landscaping and…
I am in charge of all financial decisions; we are still at the venture capital stage (me), so I’m VP of Finance.
All self-publishers are entrepreneurs by definition. We make all the decisions which affect us, except for those made by our printer and distributor (in my case, only Amazon – changing that will require work I don’t have time for now, but it’s on the very-long To Do list of the CEO and COO of Trilka Press (again, me)).
Advertising is solely my responsibility at the end of 2021
If I want to advertise (takes time and effort away from writing), I choose the venue (Amazon, FaceBook, and, in one horrible expensive decision years back, the PAW (the Princeton Alumni Weekly), which I was allowed to advertise in as a former staff member – circulation 90K prime potential readers – cost >$600, RoI = $0).
And I set up the ads. And pay for them. And fulfill all the requirements of timing – and due diligence. I should have asked PAW for some statistics – it turns out that particular advertising section, published twice a year, is filled with other self-publishers and some perennials, and is probably not a good place to peddle fiction by unknown authors who get a tiny number of words to hawk their wares. Duly noted.
So, like all of us, I spend some time managing promotion for myself (I know, sounds so tacky!). Or I’m depending on the kindness of strangers, which is erratic.
You get over it when you realize you want readers, readers in general have been conditioned to be wary of SPAs (self-published authors), and it’s up to you.
If you happen to be lucky, or go viral in some way, good.
Don’t count on it.
Even in the pushy real world, most overnight sensations have been at it for at least ten years. Or are connected. Or know something about somebody (just kidding!).
The power and control are heady – and scary!
Unlike many indies, I am not solely supported by my writing (a good thing!). But I also don’t want to write only for myself, at least not past this trilogy, because it is an incredible amount of work, takes all my available energy, and I worry about leaving fans hanging if something happens to me during the (very long) time it takes me to write something to my standards – and don’t want them to see how far below that I start.
Twenty-one years so far – and the final book will consume at least my next five years.
This little win I just received – the lovely and letter-perfect review from Jennifer Jackson at Indies Today – showed me how much encouragement affects my ability to focus. Duly noted again – but it’s not the kind of thing you can say, even to friends: “Please tell me something nice about my writing.”
I do my part for other writers, and they have been wonderful, but modesty and not-bragging were ingrained in my generation by our parents, whose generation fought WWII, and had their priorities pretty straight by the end of it, in many ways. Did they overdo it? Probably. All parents do, no matter how perfect we think we are.
But I digress…
I generally avoid low-price sales
How can conditioning people to expect something for almost nothing be a functional business model?
Someone commented recently that most free or 0.99 downloaded books are NEVER read.
The exception is the books which somehow get read, and make the reader a fan who then purchases or borrows from library or streaming service the author’s other books.
And up until now I didn’t have other books.
The exceptions I can live with include:
Sales to raise a book’s rank (for Search Engines)
Sales to promote a series which already exists
Sales to promote a launch
Sales to capture any remaining market for a bestseller already out a while
Or sales to take advantage of a blip
In other words, sales which have an expected (or hoped for) return on investment. That investment can be considerable, and the return is not guaranteed, but, for example, most writers mention in writing groups (self-selected) that they’re happy with BookBub deals and get a significant bump from them. ‘Loss leader’ I believe the marketing folk call it. BookBub doesn’t lose, authors who don’t do well hope maybe next time, and readers get bargains or freebies.
I’ve noticed Netflix keeps raising its prices. Because ‘give stuff away free’ is not sustainable. And Amazon and Facebook make money from the ads. But authors who don’t get that boost might be subsidizing the whole experiment.
Anyhoo – moving right along – BUY!
If you have a business reason for a sale, you will eventually learn which ones work.
Amazon is being very efficient these days: the $0.99 price took less than an hour to show up today, so THE 0.99 E-BOOK SALEis on. At least until four days after January 14, 2022, when my first Hello Books promotion will be over. The price will then return to $9.99.
PLEASE take advantage of the timing – I am hoping for a bump in ranking which might help later, and followers who might be interested in NETHERWORLD.
If you go to PURGATORY‘s page, I would appreciate it if you scroll down to the Editorial Reviews and tell me what you think of the new version – I modeled it on The Goldfinch‘s ER, and Amazon was very responsive as I worked on changes – an hour or so instead of their published ‘3 to 5 business days.’ Much appreciated, because it is almost impossible to get those things right the first time, and it took me three iterations.
The probability of a lower price is minuscule – I think ‘FREE’ doesn’t work for my kind of author and book.
[NOTE: The paperback is not on sale any more (Amazon was playing with it).]
Really looking forward to your comments – readers and writers. How does any of the above reflect your experience?
And if you are interested in NETHERWORLD, but haven’t popped over to the books’ site to Follow it, now is a good time to guarantee you hear about things like sales.
When you are reaching the end of writing a novel, it looks as if you’ll never finish.
Encouragement comes in odd places:
a reader wanting to know when the next one is out
sales you didn’t expect, didn’t advertise for
the writing going particularly well
a tough section written
and a review that blows your metaphorical socks off (one gets so jaded).
This morning, my inbox contained a link to that kind of review, and I encourage those who are here for the fiction to take a quick look at the books’ sister site, Pride’s Children . com, and sign up there if they haven’t – because NETHERWORLD will be here early next year, and that encouragement keeps me focused.
An encouraged and supported writer (thanks to all my visitors and commenters and fellow bloggers and friends from FB and GR – you know who you are, and I hope you know how important you are) is a happy writer, and is probably writing much better than a discouraged one.
I don’t buy the drugs-and-alcohol motivated writer narrative (one reason being because my body doesn’t process alcohol fast enough and I don’t tolerate most meds), so I have to go on HAPPINESS, the universal salve.
Sleep and lowered stress would be nice, too, and research to treat and cure this dratted disease (ME/CFS). I’m doing the best that I can.
I haven’t posted for a while for a very important reason: traveling to the Boulder area for our son’s and daughter-in-law’s wedding reception. (I am recovering slowly from the trip, and am finding my writing very much more basic this week – bear with me.)
The wedding was a lovely Zoom event a year ago – it wasn’t deemed safe to have it in person before vaccines in the middle of a pandemic – and under Colorado law, the kids could do the actual wedding themselves by signing a form. They chose to do that, and did a wonderful job of vows with a backpacking theme – talking about how and why they packed the items for a trip.
This year, vaccinated and safer, the wedding reception took place in a venue with the Boulder mountains in the background, family and friends from all over present.
The ceremony was out on the grass in the setting sun – I made it to a seat somehow, and was misty-eyed at the very personal and heartfelt words. Big smiles by everyone. They make a great couple, and have been together a long time now.
So we had to get there
Our son had asked if I wanted a mother/son dance after his wife’s father/daughter dance and theirs as a couple, and I said yes.
I can’t stand very long, or walk very far, and am extremely awkward and unstable on my feet.
So of course I said yes – these things are important, and don’t happen very often.
If at all possible, you do them, because regret is the cost of not trying.
We didn’t have time or occasion to practice before, so it was a one-time event.
My secret weapon was Maggie
Maggie (for the magnesium alloy she’s made from, and the maglev motors that run her) is my Emotional Support Robot Mini Riding Horse – and my bionic legs – and my mobility device.
An Airwheel S8, she is a bicycle seat on a hoverboard. We are a proud member of a subgroup on the Electric Unicycle Forum (even though she has two wheels).
She can be used sitting or standing, lasts a long time and distance on one charge, and I use her around the retirement community inside (elevators and long carpeted halls) and outside (on the Davis greenway, sidewalks, and bike paths). I don’t stand – but the kids and others have tried that without problems.
The trick was getting Maggie there and back – on a plane
To Denver International Airport and back to Sacramento.
Maggie is not a wheelchair nor a scooter, devices most people are more familiar with as mobility devices.
Maggie is electric.
Maggie has lithium batteries built in.
The batteries cannot be removed – the procedure for replacing one is long and involved.
Most devices travel in the cargo hold with the luggage, including my walker of many years, Sylvia.
Most people have never seen an Airwheel S8 (I am a ham; I do demos at the drop of a hat, and talk about my mobility device to anyone who evinces the most minor interest).
My greatest fear was showing up at the airport in Sacramento
and having a particular crew (the pilot’s word is final) or counter staff refuse to take her on the plane at all.
The next biggest were having my mobility device damaged during the trip, refused passage on the way back, or become lost baggage. My very sturdy walker has been affected by the many trips she’s been on, and the bracket I put on the front to hold a basket was broken off on a trip long ago. I breathe a sigh of relief every time the walker shows up again while deboarding.
If Maggie stops working (it has happened – this is my second Maggie), she becomes a 32 lb awkwardly shaped piece of metal and plastics that barely rolls.
There have been a number of incidents with cheap lithium batteries causing fires on planes and in other places, so I understand their concern – in principle. But electric wheelchairs travel all the time.
If absolutely necessary, I would have dragged myself all over the wedding venues with my walker. But what would happen to Maggie if I couldn’t take her with me was a big concern, because airports are not a place you can store things and time would be limited (as well as my energy, which is my constant battle to preserve).
Preparation before hand was key
I spent a lot of time a couple weeks prior to the trip (over an hour on the phone) talking to the person the Accessibility phone at the airline had at the other end. We sort of figure out that it would probably work. This person said a ‘note’ would be placed in my file for the trip.
A few days before the trip, I got anxious. I went to my reservation to see if the note said what it was supposed to say. There was no note. The only codes were the ones I had written into the form when buying the tickets – informing the airline that I needed a wheelchair in the airports, and that I can walk enough (hanging onto seatbacks) to get to my seat, so I wouldn’t require the on-board airline wheelchair to get to my seat.
Nothing about Maggie, nonstandard devices, batteries… all the things we discussed. Nothing I could mention to a gate person or counter person.
So I called again – and this time got someone who said she was Accessibility – and didn’t recognize the name of the other person! At the same phone number. Not a good start.
The second person was much more helpful for a specific reason: with a little searching, and knowing the airline website, she was able to find the specific wording which would let me take Maggie onboard, either in the wheelchair closet or in the cargo. I printed it all out, highlighted the relevant sections, and brought it with me.
I didn’t need to use it – but it could have gone the other way.
The airport trip was easier because I have an Assistant again
She was available to drive us and our luggage to the airport when we needed it. And she promised to bring Maggie home if something went wrong and my mobility device wasn’t allowed on the plane. Fortunately, I didn’t end up needing to call her back.
Sacramento was an easy airport to navigate: it was agreed I would use Maggie to get through TSA, and all the way to the gate, where the final decision cabin/cargo hold would be made – by the crew/pilot.
So far so good – and then, at the crowded gate (we were plenty early), the gate person told me the crew said there was no room on board for my device.
First big hurdle
The crew person who came out said there was no room. But I was allowed to go down the ramp to the plane on Maggie.
And at the door, I asked to be allowed to see the closet.
At this point I’m sort of holding up boarding (btw, disabled people are supposed to board before ANYONE, including First Class passengers, VIPs, people with small children – a right more honored in the breach than in the observance), so they let me on (I’m hanging onto anything I can at this point, with Maggie about to go down to the cargo hold), and I see that the only reason they won’t put here there is because it has a bunch of crew luggage.
So I state unaggressively but unambiguously that my wheelchair device has priority over crew luggage. I may have asked if they wanted to see the printout of their website written information; I don’t remember – the counter people didn’t want to see it either.
At that moment one of the pilots stepped out, and asked if he could help. I explained, said Maggie could be picked up with one hand. The flight attendant removed the luggage, the pilot placed Maggie easily in the closet, and the hurdle was over. I am very grateful – but still shaking – as I make my way to my seat, hanging on to seatbacks. My husband dealt with the carry-on luggage, sending the walker to the cargo hold, and putting our other stuff in the overhead bin.
After landing there was a wheelchair waiting for me, so I pushed Maggie in front of me through the very large airport, down to baggage claim (on a train!), the attendant got us to the door, our youngest daughter was waiting in the cell phone parking lot with the car, and the hotel room was actually there (you can bet I had called, prepared them for late arrival, and reminded them I needed an accessible room – but the ride was still spent with me worrying). I made sure to tip the wheelchair attendant very well – he was very helpful and stayed until we were in the car.
The wedding festivities went well
Except for me having zero energy, and being totally wiped out most of the time, everything in Boulder allowed me to participate as much as I could, because our youngest daughter rented a car and did the driving, all of it, and we fit.
At the actual reception venue (not designed at all for disabled people), I either used Maggie as a live cane (she is very stable that way, if a bit too short), or people carried her in for me and I grabbed whatever I could for support, and we managed.
The mother/son dance went incredibly well – I assayed a twirl at the very beginning, and it worked beautifully, so we did a bunch more, and it was really great to dance for the first time in years. I’m hoping someone has video!
The return trip was fraught
for a bunch of reasons, including Denver having a huge number of visitors leaving over the weekend (we were grateful our flight was on Monday).
We got there early. The counter help person took a snapshot, and texted the request for the on-board cabin to the gate. First step accomplished.
But when we navigated the busy airport and TSA and train with another wheelchair attendant, and got to the gate early – there was no one there, and the food venues didn’t have anything I could eat. I ate an Atkins bar, and prepared to wait.
When the gate person showed up, it was a repeat of the first boarding, with none of these people having seen my device (usual), or the form passengers are supposed to supply to go with their device to the hold (they said they had NEVER seen one – it’s on the website), and they started telling me the closet was too small.
Again, very unaggressively, I explained that Federal regulations require a certain size closet, and that Maggie was smaller than those dimensions. They came back with saying that there are many different aircraft, and not all have the closet (even if they have the number of seats that require the closet – 100), and that they didn’t think the closet door was wide enough.
It all felt as if they were trying to prepare me to be disappointed. At this point I’m completely wiped out by the trip, the wedding, the problems at the hotel (the only accessible feature I needed was a shower seat – and it turned out to be coming off the wall!), the physical and mental gymnastics required to be a disabled person in an able world.
Back to me
I managed to pretend to be positive. To do my little demo of how well Maggie serves me. To be polite and chatty with the gate person, the flight attendant who basically told me it probably wouldn’t happen but they were working on it and that the door was too narrow, and the pilot who came out and said all the same things, but that they were going to try.
This time I was allowed to be the first person down the ramp.
When I got there, I was prepared for failure, but of course the closet door was plenty wide (they have to be able to fit a passenger’s folded manual wheelchair into that space), the on-board aisle wheelchair was there, in the closet, and completely folded out of the way – and Maggie went in sideways through the door with space to spare.
I dragged myself to my seat, shaking again, and somehow survived the flight home, the wheelchair from the plane pushing Maggie in front of me, baggage claim, and was lucky enough to have the Lyft driver I arranged for as soon as we were at baggage claim and the suitcases were coming out arrive in three minutes, manage to load all out stuff, and get us home.
Feedback to the airline
Five days later I found the energy to fill out their survey.
I hate those things. They want you to check all kinds of points worded so only a horrible person would complain – but I put enough into the text boxes where allowed to give them a picture of what happened, to say everyone was very nice (they were – even when saying no a lot), and suggested that more on disabled passengers, wheelchairs, the on-board closet, and nonstandard devices should be done in training (knowing they all get periodic passes through it), and submitted. I doubt it will do any good, but you never know – I’ve done what I could.
My husband submitted his version – and he is a very supportive man, and didn’t step in and take over at any point (much appreciated) who knows exactly what I go through – he had some extra comments, again, very polite – and we’ve both done what we can with their awkward survey.
The future – I plan to travel more, and Maggie is an essential part
I hope this post gets shared (and I will ask John Morris if he wants a version for his site) because other people need to be prepared.
It was a constant obstacle course. Things are designed for able-bodied people. Any one of several hundred points on the track could have been the sticking point. Everything that eventually worked could have failed. I am grateful to have gotten there and back – and still exhausted.
Everything takes more energy and time when you are disabled – and you have far less energy than everyone else. Not fair, but it is what it is.
I saw no one else in their own wheelchair in either airport. That was surprising.
I’m sure the system is so daunting most physically disabled people just don’t try it most of the time. The mental strain is significant – and I can see how hard this would have been on someone less coherent than I was (and I was not doing well), or with other problems processing crowds, noise, and roadblocks.
I thought a wheelchair attendant was the key to getting through TSA efficiently (I cannot imagine what shape I would be in after standing in line – sitting on Maggie for any length of time is not great, especially if we aren’t moving), but it isn’t, and I think, after pushing Maggie, live, in front of me through corridors, trains, and elevators, it would be easier if I just rode her, while pushing the walker in front of me. But the attendant was critical in dealing with luggage, saved some of my energy, knew exactly where to go, and would have been helpful had anything gone wrong. Six of one, half a dozen of the other – and tip money very well spent. And an extra pair of hands is nothing to be sneezed at.
But most of all, I am incredibly grateful for those who
have fought all the previous battles:
Making sure there is an on-board closet
Making sure there is a wheelchair that fits in their aisle to get a passenger who can’t walk to their seat
Creating the Americans with Disabilities Act and its protections
Creating the Air Carrier Access Act (ACAA), [which] prohibits discrimination in airline service on the basis of disability – and all its protections
for other bloggers like John who write about the joys and perils
and who provide feedback constantly on how air travel meets or falls short of these ideals for every day travelers.
Please excuse my lack of editing this down into something shorter and more pithy – I am still not recovered, and this feels below my standards in many ways, but if I don’t get it all down now, much will lose its immediacy.
Please feel free to pass this on.
Please contribute your own thoughts and experiences and suggestions.
To learn about the world and to learn about our potentialities as humans.
To read a book is to live part of another life.
Optimist or pessimist is a question I ask books.
Is your book ultimately depressing or uplifting?
Even horrible books can raise spirits, especially by the end of the book. The Diary of Anne Frank does that.
It’s a value judgment.
Doing some research, I spent time reading the Top Reviews for Karin Slaughter’s Pretty Girls (2016).
Top reviewers are the ones who get the most comments or upvotes; the first four pages had negative after negative review (it wasn’t until page 4 that I found two short positive reviews, from readers), many of those from reviewers you would love to get to read your book: Top 500, Top 1000, Vine Voice…
And those reviewers were appalled at the violence against women that was graphically depicted, over and over. ‘Gratuitous’ was used as a descriptor.
Many commented that the writing was good or adequate or competent (workmanlike would have been my assessment, from reading the Look Inside sample provided), but that the choice of subject matter left them sick to their stomach.
A depressing book – depressing author?
Ms. Slaughter is a NYT bestseller.
Apparently, previous books she wrote were not nearly as negative as this one; many of these reviewers commented they would not read another of her books.
Some commented they wished they could scrub their minds of the images, for which they could find no socially redeeming reasons.
Me, I wondered why they continued reading, even if they skimmed.
The optimistic book – optimistic authors?
SF can be pessimistic (dystopias) or optimistic.
Romance is usually optimistic, and those fans who like to read Romance want their ‘happily ever after’ (HEA) ending, and can be very unhappy with writers who don’t provide one. There is a subset of books which end, not with an HEA, but with a ‘happy for now’ (HFN). These books are still hopeful, but possibly more realistic – and also possibly open to sequels.
Thrillers and mysteries can be all over the map – but do deal with the grittier side of life, and more often are pessimistic or neutral, but possibly with an optimistic undertone, say, to a continuing detective’s life.
A special category is the detective who finds happiness
My favorite, obviously, is the definitely HEA ending of Dorothy L. Sayers’ Lord Peter Wimsey novels, ending with Busman’s Honeymoon, where Peter and Harriet marry, finally, and solve one last real mystery which sets the tone for their married life. Sayers wrote only two short stories about the pair after that, even though her series was popular and is still popular now.
During all the novels, there was still an optimistic cast to the series: there was a right and wrong, people had principles, and there were consequences – but mysteries were solved and things set ‘right’ where possible. Sayers went on to write theology, so her stories were optimistic because she believed in the possibility.
Jane Eyre is optimistic. Silas Marner is optimistic.
Huckleberry Finn is optimistic. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (Heinlein) is optimistic.
You write what you like
And I don’t like ultimately pessimistic books.
Almost every genre can be written either way; even serial killer Dexter is optimistic.
I just want to know that, at the end of the book, things are, or have the potential of being, better.
That covers a lot of territory, but the thing in a book that makes me pick another book by an author is that there was hope at the end.
So if you read what I write, you will be reassured that, whether you like exactly how I have arranged things to happen, there will be an upbeat end.
I had a surgeon, the other day, refuse to do a minor procedure – WITHOUT EVEN MEETING ME – after talking to the nurse practitioner who examined me, because their ‘guidelines’ stated another procedure HAD TO BE DONE FIRST to rule something out.
Now before anyone gets all worried, it is a minor procedure which would improve my life significantly.
I didn’t say no – I asked for statistics.
Was told they had guidelines.
It is my very real experience in previous cases that ‘guidelines’ are often years out of date, because, as one doctor told me, “It takes time for the research to be incorporated into the guidelines.” Lots of time. A decade and a half in the previous case.
But even that is a red herring
I don’t know what the statistics are in this case, but I’m guessing MOST of the ruling-out procedures are unnecessary. As in, don’t discover anything that needs being attended to in the majority of cases.
In the case of normal reasonably-healthy people, going through a ruling-out procedure is a minor inconvenience, the loss of a day or two of their time, and an allowable use of their medical leave (if they’re working).
FOR DISABLED PEOPLE WITH NO ENERGY, EVERY procedure
carries risks and an amazingly high load of days lost and physical inconvenience, minor and major misery, time, calling in of favors, arranging…
You name it.
And it is very reasonable to 1) ask if something is STRICTLY necessary, and 2) supported by research and statistics which show the procedure is worth the enormous effort it costs that disabled person.
If a restaurant meal is $50 for one person, and $50,000 for another, it is reasonable to ask first whether the second person wishes to pay that much (this is what prices on menus are for, among other things).
Not taking that into account in medical procedures is the equivalent of saying, “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.”
The ADA requires that health care entities provide full and equal access for people with disabilities.
This can be done through:
Reasonable Modifications of Policies, Practices, and Procedures. Adjusting policies, practices, and procedures, if needed, to provide goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, or accommodations.
At the end of the fact sheet there is a feedback form. Where it asks Is the information useful to you? I checked NO.
Where asked How could the usefulness be improved? I answered:
“Reasonable modifications (or changes) to policies, practices, and procedures” does not address RECOMMENDED procedures used to RULE OUT a possibility, when it isn’t a strict requirement, would be much more difficult for the disabled person to satisfy than for a normal healthy person, and is not wanted by the disabled patient – who understands but does not consent to the recommended procedure, and is thus prevented from having a service they DO need and want.
Where asked What are the most important changes we could make? I answered:
Directly address the fact that, for disabled people, things can be MUCH more difficult to do because of the disability itself (which in my case includes very little energy in a day), and it is not fair to insist they meet the same RECOMMENDED but not STRICTLY NECESSARY requirements an able person is presented with.
And where asked What other factsheets do you think we should write? I answered:
How to lower the barriers which prevent a disabled person from getting a necessary service/procedure when these barriers are ONEROUS to a disabled person compared with an able person.
Do I expect any help from the ADA people?
The wheels of government move slowly in the best of cases, and there will be pushback and talk about ‘lowering standards’ and interfering with ‘recommendations by doctors and medical societies.’
And, more ominously, ‘disabled people not knowing what is good for them.’
Change would likely take longer than it does to update those guidelines they are so fond of, produced by a medical society, 15 years after the research changes, to CYA those who might be sued if they don’t follow ‘standard procedures.’
I’m pretty sure they were not thinking about the EFFECT of the above on a disabled person with limited capacity – just imagining what it would be like for a person like themselves (rarely disabled) to go through the procedure, say, with an emotional support miniature horse (yes, they are specifically included, but might be excluded if not housebroken).
I’m furious because there is no recourse
This is the only version of the medical procedure I need within my medical services system.
It takes me a lot of energy to even write about it here; the actual recommended but not in my estimation strictly necessary pre-requisite to the procedure I need is one that would take over a week of ALL my time and energy to do – and I’m not sure I could manage its requirements anyway.
Finding an alternate to their clinic is beyond my capabilities.
The minor procedure would improve my life immediately but isn’t going to happen.
And I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere with the ‘feedback request’ from my medical providers – thought I may just send them this post.
As the disabled person
I should not have to fight over things like this, but should be asked my preference without having to go through the stress of fighting the surgeon who hasn’t even met me.
I have wasted enough time and energy on this already.
I hope I can continue to manage the problem.
And I wonder exactly what they think ‘informed consent‘ means when I do NOT consent.
And, if you’re worried, I’m not taking stupid chances – I’m not planning on dying of something preventable.
Why do disabled people have to fight so hard for stupidities like this?
After much reflection, some of it in writing, other of it in the middle of the night, I have realized that the win, to be mine, has to come from me.
A real win is one you create yourself, the hard way, with blood, sweat, and tears. Since you EARNED it, you OWN it.
Since you created it, it can’t be taken from you (do remember your backups off site, though!).
Someone buying Pride’s Children PURGATORY – in paperback! – is a win, as is someone purchasing the ebook, or taking it out at Kindle Unlimited, especially when I haven’t done any marketing in ages. But it’s not something I have control over.
I had a recent win against Covid
As soon as the CDC said immunocompromised people would be on the short list for the early boosters, I asked my doctor AND my facility about it – to no avail. They said, “When we get it, we’ll let you know.”
But I started seeing other people with my same illnesses posting on FB about having already received the booster shot.
Regardless of how (I wouldn’t lie to get one, but don’t even know if others did, though there have been newspaper reports of lying), the key fact was availability.
So I nagged the doctor’s office, reminded them of my immune status, and they made it available. Then I arranged Medvan transportation, went and got the thing, suffered through the side effects (second day was quite flu-like, and I had more brain fog than I anticipated for the days after that), and, in another week or so, will feel I have done as much as possible to protect myself. And did NOT take that dose from someone getting their first vaccine.
I finished a tricky chapter in Pride’s Children NETHERWORLD.
As I get toward the explosive end of NETHERWORLD, it is getting even more important to get it exactly right, because even less time separates the end of 2 from the beginning of 3 than separated the end of 1 from the beginning of 2, and every story-second counts.
Sending Chapter 35 off to my beta reader was a key step: it is the 3/4 mark in several ways, and I have been forced to make the tiny detailed decisions that make the difference NOW, and not in some writing future – ‘when I get to it.’
It’s getting harder and harder physically and mentally
I acknowledge that, and move on.
Restarting after the brain fog is always tricky, because I have to assume I’m past it before I’m sure I’m past it, and restarting is part of the process of getting past it. What I mean is that it takes a huge amount of psychic energy to restart, sort of like the difference between static and dynamic friction (starting to move a piece of furniture across carpeting is much harder than keeping it going once you start (so don’t stop!)).
Apply that pressure too early, and all it does is extend the downtime.
Wait too long, and situational depression sets in.
And there is always something else that need my limited attention ability – and seems more important just this minute.
I live with this, write with this, and have been at it for a very long time.
There are rumors on the horizon of research for long-covid that might explain another post-viral syndrome, ME/CFS’s problems, and it is possible that even after 31 years it might be helpful. Rumors – but this one has some interesting science behind it. We’ll see.
But, as the husband reminds me, even if it works it will be years before it is available, and I can’t let any of that time go to waste.
So I face the fact that there’s been a break, and get back to work.
Yesterday I took the first step:
I re-read what I have put together, in these brain-fogged days, by following process and trusting it will work as it has every time before – eventually.
And even though there’s one tiny part in the middle of the scene where a decision has to be made about an order of events, the rest is written.
And the end made me cry (actual written steps in said process: “DIG DEEPER – CRY” and “BECOME THE CHARACTER – WRITE WITH THE EMOTIONS RAW.”)
The character needs it, but I am the one with the whip, forcing change. It hurts.
Being present in the writing – mining my own experience: “HERE AND NOW; BEING PRESENT!”
I may work in imaginary situations, but if they don’t get treated as real, with me there, documenting as it happens, it never converts into something good.
From my Journal: “… is nice – but she needs extraordinary, and open to a degree she won’t be able to demand from him.” It is either there in someone, or it isn’t.
Voltaire said ‘the best is the enemy of the great.’
Many people think perfectionism keeps you from getting something finished and out the door and good enough.
But in writing something unique, it matters. Not that you become a perfectionist, and never get anything done, but that you not let ‘good’ or ‘good enough’ or even ‘good enough for government work’ keep you from achieving your own standards.
Because I hope my readers are the people who have those same standards.
If you are, you will know that about yourself.
THAT’s where the wins come from.
So back to the drawing board, salt mines, design board
While I still can.
Because if it’s meh, it costs me way too much to be worth it.
Chapter 36 is well started, and I am imbuing it with the frustration of writing in the middle of the challenging circumstances that are a pandemic which no one expected would last this long.
And a lot of the pain.
If you look for it, something will pull you back to the task.
What it’s like to insert a fictional character into a historical event for the purpose of telling a story.
The basic question is unanswered: how to take over a historical event and change it.
Such as how to write a thriller with someone else as President!
So, it’s fiction, identified exactly as so in the beginning of the books, and mine to do with as I will.
I doubt someone has to get permission from the White House to change the President – or we wouldn’t have President Bartlett and The West Wing.
So I’m worried about nothing.
The general rule to changing a name has to be avoiding harm
If you are going to say something negative, it might bring a lawsuit if the named person or organization feels it affects their reputation in some way. And even if a court decides they are wrong, and you get an amazing amount of viral publicity out of this (google the Streisand Effect if you don’t remember it), it is going to take a lot of your time, effort, and money to fight such a suit – and there is no guarantee you will win.
Organizations can have in-house lawyers who eat problems like this for lunch. They will bury you easily – nothing personal – and have no mercy.
Please read books on writing and copyright, and know the legal definitions of Libel (Letter – ie, written – mnemonics mine, probably not original) and Slander (Spoken) and ask yourself, as a start, whether YOU would feel libeled or slandered if you were the subject.
If even you are uneasy, it may be easier to change the name that might get offended.
And you might have to change that to something that is significantly different in enough ways that no reasonable person would be offended (unpredictable).
Where’s this coming from?
For the purpose of NETHERWORLD, I sort of have to insult a famous movie or two, and some actors – in a minor way.
The insult consists in taking away an earned award – and awarding it to someone else, another movie.
The problem stems from everyone’s ‘knowledge’ of how Hollywood works, and what the major awards are from which organizations.
In the same way that President Bartlett is less interesting if he is Superintendent Bartlett of an unnamed or fictitious school district, an actor getting a life-changing nomination for, say, an Academy Award is more interesting than if I make up an organization called FCBM and award my character their Best Actor award.
Along with ‘The White House’ you get an amazing amount of the reader’s foreknowledge of how things work there – which saves a lot of words and explanations.
Along with ‘an Oscar’ you get the same kind of response – red carpet, photographers, exotic borrowed clothing for beautiful women… And the whole suspense thing dragged out as long as possible, followed by one winner and a lot of gracious losers who were honored to be nominated. It’s in your head already, and a writer just needs to mention a few points to trigger a full-blown award ceremony in your mind.
Why do I even bother worrying about this kind of stuff?
Well, first because I’m a worrier.
Second, because I want that identification and value from the awards. I agree with the organizations and the individuals that they are worth a great deal in a career.
Third, because the last thing I need in my state of energy and illness and retirement is some organization getting its panties in a twist because I, well, lied.
Fourth, because I hope to be famous and well-read (not synonymous) some day, I want to do it right, and not leave a mess for my heirs.
Fifth, because, as a writer, it’s my job.
Have you had to face this choice? If so, how did you handle it? Have there been repercussions?
As a reader, have you ever wondered if the author has stepped over the line? Care to share?
Some lights are seen better in contrast with dark.
NOT necessarily permanently – I don’t write downers or tragedies – but so you have done a good job when writing something that, in the long run, enhances the story.
A hero is a hero ONLY in comparison to the obstacle overcome.
The DIFFERENCE between the hero’s HIGH and the villain’s LOW is the STAKES of your story.
The answer to every objection is: Does it make the story better?
Even in a long book, you have only so much space to use the whole palette of emotions that go with your story. You don’t get to waffle about – you have to use what you have, and make it squeal.
This means that you have to be confident enough to do what the STORY needs, even when it hurts – or at least feels odd – when you get to the place where you have to write that the wrong character is winning.
For a while, you tell yourself.
So the ‘winning’ characters have something to overcome that is worth writing about.
But plotting it to happen and writing the scene are different
I knew what I was going into when I chose to start writing this novel trilogy. It is in many ways a fairytale for grownups, something that is highly improbable in the real world.
But I figured out a way to make it come out the way I wanted.
I found a way to make the ending POSSIBLE.
And, as you might expect, it required some finagling to make it interesting and not trivial.
It required making ‘highly improbable’ ALMOST ‘impossible.’
And then doing the writing to make it happen.
To me. Who am picky about plausibility.
Because the characters need to change
Some of them do.
And change of direction requires the application of force.
Nobody changes unless they have to.
And these characters had no reason to go looking for change, except that I wanted them to.
The bigger the change, the bigger the applied force needs to be
The applied force is the stakes, and I needed to make the stakes big enough to make a couple of very stubborn characters change, so it’s really their fault.
But then I got to the actual writing
And I found I had to make the reasons for change credible because the characters had turned into people I cared about.
So the actual writing of the lowest scenes not just in the middle novel, but in the whole trilogy, was hard.
Even though I knew it was coming and exactly what was going to happen.
I had to admit that there was no way around the difficulties I plotted in in the first place. Duh!
So I went ahead and wrote the first of these scenes, and it was as hard as I imagined it would be, and harder because I write linearly, and couldn’t postpone doing it now.
I am proud to say I survived
The story survived.
Some version of the characters survived.
The villain got to win.
At least for the time being, but mostly because it is necessary.
If you aren’t writing stakes you care about, I can’t see the point of putting in the kind of work this is taking. Because it is very hard to let the villain get away with things, even temporarily, because it is necessary to create that leverage for change.
And I had to give it the very best writing I could create – and make every tiny step in the win justified – because otherwise the villain is a straw villain, easy to overturn.
I hope it works for my readers after it works for me.
Or you guys are really going to hate me.
How do you feel about this kind of story – as a reader?
If you’re a writer, have you ever had to do the same?
WHEN IT ISN’T AN INTENSE IMMEDIATE NECESSARY EXPERIENCE
It’s a high bar, wanting only scenes in a novel that are strong enough to leave a reader breathless.
Quietly or dramatically, a scene has to have a reason for being in the story, and that reason has to answer the question: Why is this scene PIVOTAL?
Yes. Every single time.
Scenes accomplish many things at once
The structure and skeleton of a scene offer a place to hang many hats: character development, plot, theme(s), setting, language, the ability to hold a reader’s attention, emotions… I could go on for a long time, or merely post some of my checklists for things which must be considered.
A scene has to be packed with meaning, symbolism, omens, backstory, forewarning, consequences, and costs.
It has to move the story from where it was to where it has to be, a stepping-stone across a great river.
But the scene itself has to have a primary reason to be in the book, and it isn’t as a catch basin for a whole bunch of important little things the author thinks the reader needs to know.
I dropped a scene
I’ve done a lot of things between the complete rough draft and what will be the final complete draft that included rearranging material, moving things to a slightly better scene for them, altering the timelines enough to change the order, switching point of view to a different character, tweaking the goal.
I’ve considered, for each scene, how best to tell its part of the story.
I’ve combine a couple of shorter ones, split some long ones.
I’d have to go back over extensive lists, but I don’t think I’ve completely dumped one before.
It feels weird – but I’m happy I made the decision to ‘kill a darling.’
I was having trouble writing 34.5.
Since I have trouble writing every scene, this wasn’t anything new or startling. I have many ways of writing myself out of these problems, some suitable when it’s the writer who has a previously-unknown problem (the Journal gets a lot of these long explorations of why) and others which work to get around my physical limitations.
I have those checklists to allow me to explore MANY features of a scene in small enough chunks that I can focus on one thing at a time – by the time I’ve gone through all of those, I have the gathered material for that scene all in one place. Then I have systems to organize it. Then it gels. Then I write it.
I was even in a good mood and had had enough sleep.
The material wasn’t compelling as a whole.
There were specific bits that need to be in the book. There were some really nice bits. And there were all those answered questions and placeholder text bits, including some really decent dialogue.
Then I realized that writing this particular scene bored me
And that I wouldn’t be looking forward to rereading that scene when I reread the book, and would probably skip it.
Telling myself the Reader needed the information, presented in a nicely dramatized way, with bells, didn’t work.
And then I really, really looked at the nascent scene, and I admitted to myself that there were 2-3 necessary pieces, which is why I thought I should group them in this scene in the first place, but that it wasn’t enough to do a good job of surrounding them with a scene and let the reader absorb them painlessly.
It won’t surprise you that it was a villain scene – and I’ve given her plenty of room to express her opinions, follow her thoughts, listen to her justifications.
So I made the decision to cut a scene
And immediately knew it was the right decision.
I found a home for those necessary bits in the following scenes and an epigraph which wrote itself. There isn’t anything wrong with them.
And the chapter suddenly got livelier.
I dug into the next scene, and found it compelling, and found a way to make it heartbreaking.
We’re back on track.
This scene should be a doozy. As they should all be, if I had my ‘druthers.
I can always go back and put it in; somehow I don’t think it will be necessary. I’ll leave it up to my beta reader to notice.
I don’t think this is because I write one finished scene at a time; I’ll find out.
I gather a lot of pre-written material when I start a scene.
I also have a lot of lists of prompts I fill out which remind me to think of various aspects of a scene, from the internal twist to the various beats to the emotions I wish to invoke in Readers, so I’ve created a lot of new material now that I’m about to write this scene.
And I have one bugaboo, what I call the Old Text (OT), the original polished-but-primitive draft that I wrote when I had the three books in the trilogy plotted out, and wanted to see that I could make it logically from the first line to the last.
The Old Text can be missing, a few paragraphs, a scene in the wrong point of view (pov), or even, in the worst case, a
PERFECT FINISHED COMPLETE SCENE IN THE CORRECT CHARACTER’S POINT OF VIEW.
Except it’s not right.
And every attempt to take what you have and rework it, rearrange it, change it, edit it, tweak it
It’s still wrong.
Worse, it’s throwing you off and keeping you from getting into the character’s pov so you can fix things.
For those times you have a secret weapon:
You can choose not to keep ANY of what you wrote before.
Or only a couple of tiny new pieces you just wrote that you know are in the right pov.
Or an image or two, reworded of course.
Or the time/day/date.
Or even the idea of the scene.
But you don’t have to because there is no Scene Police Division
down at writing headquarters.
No one who can make you, encourage you, or even try to persuade you.
Just because you wrote it gives it no rights.
Just because it was finished, complete, polished, and has impeccable grammar and spelling, punctuation, and capitalization, and you worked for days on it way back when you wrote that particular version, it has no integrity or separate solidity: it is just as friable as your grocery list.
With me, it means I am really stuck.
All the journaling in the world can’t fix something that needs to be plowed under and redesigned from the bottom up.
I just redid a scene like this – from a blank page. After getting fairly close to…something.
I had so much new stuff to put into the scene, and such a solid Old Text version, I thought it might be one of the few things that survived from that draft.
Maybe if I had published the scene as a story fifteen or twenty years ago when I wrote this particular little gem, and spent days or weeks getting it to be the best I could do back then. It might have been a book I removed from my backlist after getting much better with the newer books.
I’m glad I didn’t publish that older draft.
Even I had the sense to realize it needed a lot of work.
The new version is so much better.
But I hadn’t realized that the OT had so much power.
I didn’t want to start from scratch. I didn’t want to dump everything.
I wasn’t sure I could write something better, or come up with an entirely different version of the original idea.
That’s just the FEAR talking. Trying to protect me from wasted effort (old and new).
So I labeled the old contents ‘draft version’, and left it where I could get to it easily if I needed to swipe something from it.
And I started a blank file with the words: ‘just putting this here so the page isn’t blank’
And I started all over again, paying special attention to how that character operated, felt, saw, listened and wrote it again from the top.
Then I deleted ‘just putting this here so the page isn’t blank’, proceeded with my other steps to get a scene into final usable state, and didn’t insist it contain any of that old but good stuff, and …
It’s finished. It came out far better. I wrote the new version in a day or two, edited and polished it, and it doesn’t look at all like the OT.
I still can’t imagine any amount of tweaking that would have turned the previous grammatically-correct-but-completely-wrong and progress-blocking scene into what I signed off on today.
It hurt. A lot. All that nice clean text!
But sometimes you have no choice but to start from scratch.
When did THEIR time become more important than ours?
When did CLIENTS become patients?
When did their needs to be in control become more important than the clients’ rights to timely and adequate and compassionate service?
When did their convenience supersede ours?
When did taking care of disabled clients become a burden to them, an inconvenience to their mission?
When did their control become more important that our PAIN?
When did it become acceptable for them to frighten patients, to threaten them with dire consequences for not obeying instructions to the letter, to TELL them they will end up in the ER with a massive attack of something? (This has now happened twice.)
When did THEY end up with all the cards – and the self-righteous belief that they know best for OTHER people with REAL LIVES?
This is the letter I would LIKE to send to my medical services group – if I dare, once I have carefully weighed the consequences to my future treatment.
Think about that: I have to worry that they might be bothered by something I, the person responsible for paying them, might say. As nicely as I can.
First, though, I would like to say: don’t mess with a writer – they are good at nuance, both reading it and writing it. Not on the spot, of course – that’s for narcissists and sociopaths and politicians and comedians – but afterward, when they’ve had a chance to think.
And to realize what just happened.
And rewrite what you think just happened into the correct narrative that takes the CLIENT into account.
Except rewriting the narrative created by the thoughtless ‘professional’ requires 1) rereading it (I won’t – too negative), and 2) putting in an enormous amount of my own time – knowing it probably won’t work. Or change anything.
THE LETTER TO MEDICAL PERSONNEL AT XXXXX which I may never send.
Because I need some kind of medical care, and all of these are similar in that they think they know it all, and they OVERWHELM you.
My mind keeps nagging about the letter I should write to my medical providers about energy, visits to specialists, and fear-mongering. Which was applied to me, a disabled person, at the end of a too-long-for-a-disabled-person day.
And the tone of the after-visit summary took my breath away – and made no mention of or accommodation for that disability which caused so many of the problems. Bullying a disabled person is NOT nice.
I will NOT have the procedure unless I decide it is necessary, there are several more worrying symptoms, and they don’t respond immediately to medication. And do NOT appreciate how I was treated so cavalierly.
I need to write the letter so it appears in my medical record, and I can point to it, but I don’t expect it to have any effect on anyone there.
Do NOT treat disabled people the way you treat normal people – we can’t take it.
And no, it doesn’t NECESSARILY help to bring someone else along. Then I have to deal with THEM, too.
The calculus of what I can take vs. what I need is ongoing: don’t assume, ASK.
And more than asking, could you make a climate where I will think of asking myself, EVEN when exhausted?
CLIENT (person who pays the bills)
The above is not coherent – I’m still going to let it stand, because the incoherence is generated by the system.
I’ve let this one stew for almost a month, and I’m still angry. I was going to just let it drop, leave the unfinished post among the almost 100 draft posts I never finished.
Not naming names – and I’ve decided it isn’t SAFE for me to let them know what I really think, so I’ll keep tweaking the interactions (as in my previous state – which was as bad or worse) instead of taking them head on.
Other options to minimize the problems
One is to do as much as possible via video visits; those are usually on time, one-on-one because the provider isn’t popping in and out or pawning you off on a nurse.
Another – based on my last visit to another city for treatment – is to make sure you have done the paperwork part of a visit SEPARATELY via video BEFORE the in-person appointment. I find it a major problem to have filled all the paperwork before the visit, and to be grilled over every single thing in my medical history again anyway.
I will explain that it is very difficult for me to do BOTH in a single visit – and, by the time I get the service, I am exhausted and frazzled and not being as coherent as I tried to prepare to be.
LEAVE the minute it gets to where I can’t keep going. I keep trying to respect THEIR time, at the cost of trying to continue to talk and even be awake and coherent when things go on too long. Going back is not a great option, but maybe I can finish by video.
Stand up for myself in some small way each time.
Say, “This is not helpful.”
Risk being labeled difficult.
Complain to higher management – with specifics (respectfully – that writer nuance).
Because the stress of doctor visits has gotten to the point that all I want to do is avoid them.
After I wrote the above, I realized that I think of them separately (personal choice), with effort being the whole mental atmosphere surrounding what writers do – from paying attention to things other people never notice, including information on publicity, covers, and selling – and work being actually sitting down and turning that attitude into things such as a finished ad or a description that rocks or any number of other ‘deliverables.’
‘WORK‘, of course, includes the writing itself, the finished words on the page of a pdf you are about to upload to Amazon or others.
And know it’s the best version of the story you are able to provide that mysterious elusive creature, the Reader.
After that, Amazon takes over and supplies copies of the WORK to those who pay for it.
For many of us, Amazon is currently publisher and distributor, for a hefty portion of the rewards (30% for ebooks, more for print books). I am currently okay with that. Because that equation is far worse on the traditional publishing side, and many of the benefits to using them (editing, covers, advertising, promotion, reasonable advances, royalties) are on the path of the Dodo bird.
Writing successful fiction requires two additional things:
Finding your potential readers, and
Getting them to try your writing.
If you haven’t truly written a good book that readers would buy if they only knew about you, YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME when you promote and advertise and stand on your head to do PR. You may fool some of the people some of the time, but that is rarely a recipe for commercial success.
Indeed, after reading some authors’ latest ‘work’, I know I will never read another from them.
But the whole discoverability part of writing is hard, tricky, and requires the one thing I don’t have: energy and the capacity for endless self-promotion.
If you have written ‘a good book’ for a segment of the population
the satisfied readers should be clamoring for more.
If you have more (backlist), they have a lot to discover and enjoy.
If not, well, keep working. And some readers will never get that pleasure from you again, but it won’t be your fault, if you’ just keep truckin’.’
And hope for some luck, or ‘Here a miracle occurs,’ or going viral, or catching someone’s eye…
Some of us will simply have to hope for an afterlife, and wait to ask Margaret Mitchell what happened to Scarlett. Assuming she still cares – the afterlife runs on different rules, I believe.
And now I’m going off to nap, followed by keeping my nose to my particular grindstone.
I do so want to finish. It’s coming nicely. And every time the idea that life might be easier if I spent it entertaining myself instead of torturing myself with imaginary people, I have managed to fight that attitude off.
What are the things in your life that you will never give up on?