Next part of what isn’t a whine: I’m putting this up for two reasons: first, to clarify it for myself while it is still fresh; and second, in the hopes it may help someone else. (First part here.)
2) Can I learn anything to prevent it from happening next time?
But then I started making mistakes I can see now: the in-laws call went very long. Then, since getting the kids tends to be rare (they have busy lives), once we got them, the calls went too long. I should have postponed them, strung them out, after a brief contact, for the rest of the week. But heck, they’re my kids and I love them and I want to talk to them. Each call went too long.
DH needs to go to bed early because he has to get up to go to work early, so, instead of taking a break, the first three calls went non-stop. And the fourth, as the last child has finals today and tomorrow, I wanted to get in as early as possible.
I knew I was getting very tired, but I was in the chute, and it was easier at the time to head downhill. I should have had my short call, and let DH have his talk with them while I went to take a nap. Instead of an unbroken, hours long marathon phone session, I should have had four brief conversations with a break between each – I think then there would have been a chance of reducing it to a minor overload (I like to be ‘on’ when I’m on the phone).
I didn’t even think of it at the time.
I would have missed the conversations – but looking back, 95% of ‘my’ Mother’s Day time was spent listening to DH and his dad and the sons discuss stuff they’re more interested in (and that I like to hear about, but isn’t my primary focus in the relationships), with little time being me getting my questions in.
Part of the reason is that, if I don’t hear it at the time, some of the things they discussed I never find out about later, but am somehow expected to know. DH shares, but we each have our own understanding of what ‘share’ means, don’t we?
Then, having made the commitment to making sure youngest was up in time for her final at 11:30, I began to reap the consequences for my profligacy: even though I had plenty of time (at this point, over 10 hours to having to check on the college girl, easy), I couldn’t wind down. I couldn’t stop drinking sugar-free lemonade. I couldn’t put down the time wasters (internet, Bee Cells on the Nook color, FreeFlow on the iPad), reading.
I watched myself in horror, knowing what was coming, trying to get myself settled down and into bed, and into the yoga stretches that are the nightly routine, and the yoga breathing that usually calms my mind enough so it can relax.
I had lost it. (To be continued.)