This sickness (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) sometimes makes you feel like you have to hold it together, for the next moment, the next day. Eventually though, you realize that you’ve been holding it together for such a long, long time, through such much of life, the good, the bad, the stressful, the sad, the peaceful, every moment. Then you realize that what if I stop holding it together, for it takes so much effort, each day, each moment seems so important though. So you tell yourself that today you’ll rest. It is important for your sanity to just say no and rest, to recharge your batteries, recharge your mind, recharge your soul. Then that day becomes 2, and it gets easier and easier to rest, you tell yourself.Feeling tired, fatigued, and that’s a major part of this sickness. It is inefficient mitochondria that is at the heart of this sickness. The mitochondria do less, you feel tired. But it is not just feeling tired, for the mitochondria run your brain, your immune system, your nervous system, your heart, your lungs, and your digestive system. Everything slows down. The only way I can compare it to is the day after a marathon, the day after a major sporting event, where you’ve given it your all, and have nothing more to give. But for us, the day after doesn’t stop there, it continues day after day. And you’re back to holding it together again.
This is what I have to go through each day. It is hard for others to understand, even if they say they understand. And some even do understand to some degree because they found themselves exhausted the day after a major physical event, and know it takes a few days to recover. So they know what its like “the day after”, our day after, day after day. And we’re back to holding it together.
We wonder, how much do we rest? How much should we exert ourselves, to move, to “get out”, when we try to listen to the loving, concerned advice of those who don’t know, and think just exercise is the answer, or that special drink they’ve heard of that provides energy, or eat healthy or certain kinds of food, thinking good food, thinking natural health foods, vitamins or mixes will help. The mitochondria is our body’s engine, it runs everything by combining the food we eat and the air we breath. It doesn’t matter much what kind of fuel is used, the body will still have trouble creating energy from it. It is like trying to get a junk car to run in a race. Even with the best fuel that car won’t win the race, it would still barely go.
This is my day, day after day, and again we try to hold it together.