I WILL BE A QUIRKY WRITER
Especially because I may write few books in a lifetime, where the fiction push started late, and already ill when I began writing, I have to make the books count.
There will be a shelf next to my bed in the last place I live, and the books there will have to be what I wrote – and what I love.
But it’s quirky in an odd way. Either a reader will like what I write, or not be of my tribe.
That’s not so unusual: all writers have a tribe, once they’re past a certain minimum of quality that they can stand to put their name on nom de plume on.
Or they wouldn’t keep writing.
I write in blood
But I will never write to market. Never mind that I can’t – writing to market takes a lot of energy. I don’t want to.
Now that I’ve moved, I never have to write again. There are a million things even I can do in the new place, and they all take energy, and they are all a lot more fun than writing.
And then one person comes up to me at dinner, and tells me how much she loved the TV talk show scene, and I’m hooked again, on the dopamine that comes only to writers who have done their best, and have been rewarded, and have no internal regrets about skimping.
I honestly don’t want to go back and change a single word in PURGATORY. Which is good, because it would be an incredible amount of work.
But it’s also making me insecure about picking up the metaphorical pen again, because I haven’t been able to finish the one scene I’ve been working on since before we moved.
So much is riding on this scene
Plot, characters, theme – everything is going through a knot.
Everything is getting kicked up several notches.
Because the middle book in a trilogy needs that.
And I had no idea it was this one place I would have foundered for a while, no matter where I had been, until I started writing and realized how many threads I held in my hands, how many things go from before – toward the end of this book, and the end of this story, and how critical it is to get it right.
I think my subconscious knew, and my brain protected me.
So I would have time to consider what I’ve set out, fully.
I can’t wait to get to these ends, but the path has to be lit and leveled and have the right slope and the best edging and a solid underpinning of rock.
Because it leads toward high cliffs, and I would rather my characters (whom I’m very fond of) found resolution almost any other way. But there is none.
Glad I got that off my chest
And may your New Year have that kind of pull on you.
Once you get over being afraid of heights, the view can be amazing.
Over to you: what’s in store in 2019 that you can’t wait for?